


You Know My Insecurities Are Always There Alone

by iliveinfantasies



Series: All the Messy Parts, Every Part [1]
Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, AvaLance, F/F, Gen, High School AU, Human Gideon (DC's Legends of Tomorrow), Other, Pride, but i'll add them later, listen I know I'm missing people
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-08 06:31:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15924815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iliveinfantasies/pseuds/iliveinfantasies
Summary: "So the fact that Sara Lance was here, now, sporting a bisexual flag on one cheek and chatting to Ava as though they fell into casual conversation every day of their lives, was utterly baffling.Ava blinked at her.'Uh. Hi?' she said, not entirely sure how to react to this situation. Sara just grinned and adjusted the rucksack on her shoulder.'Happy Pride!' she said, completely undeterred. Reaching up to touch the rainbow bandana in Ava’s hair, she added, “this suits you,” a wink, before turning to catch up to her friends."Or, Gary drags Ava to Star City Pride, and she's absolutely, 100 percent just there to support him. Right?





	You Know My Insecurities Are Always There Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone. So this is the Pride AU that I've been threatening to write for a hot second. It absolutely would not have happened without my Beta/help-me-i'm-stuck writer, Lysippe. She's the actual best, especially when I'm stuck in my head.  
> So I mentioned this in a Tumblr post kind of offhand http://iliveinfantasylife.tumblr.com/post/177563497831/help-i-suddenly-just-got-the-urge-to-write-an. And yes, for all those wondering, if this turns into a fully fledged fic (past this prequel bit) I will be including human!Gideon. Who is a snarky computer nerd (yes, this will give her and Zari an entertaining dynamic). Anyway. 
> 
> The point to all this is, is this a universe you'd be interested in seeing expanded? Should I turn this into a full fledged High School AU, multi chapter sort of deal, or keep it as it is?
> 
> PLEASE let me know! In the comments, in private messages on Tumblr, I don't care. I just want to know if this is something I should keep working on or not. Thanks, readers <3.
> 
> Oh, title taken from the song Whole Heart by Rachel Platten.

Ava glanced around at the hoards of people milling through the downtown streets of Star City, and sighed. She shuffled her feet, hugging her arms around herself. She was profoundly uncomfortable, more than just a little anxious, and so, so, completely out of her element. She wasn’t really a crowds person--she wasn’t exceptionally social, and didn’t do much outside of school that didn’t involve homework, track practice, or “strongly encouraged” (read: forced) family bonding. So when Gary had plopped down next to her at their lunch table four days ago, grinning excitedly, and spouting off a bunch of words that were impossible to make out but definitely involved the phrase “Star City Pride,” Ava had absolutely  _ no  _ intention of doing whatever it was that Gary was proposing. But then he had made  _ that face,  _ the same one he always got when she told him she really wasn’t a DnD person, and Gary puppy-dog-eyes Green got her every fucking time.

So now here she was, standing on the corner of 5th and Main, surrounded by a sea of rainbow and noise and an almost astonishing amount of assless chaps. And despite her being one of thousands of people here, despite the fact that they had somehow managed to land themselves a nice, semi-secluded section street (as secluded as one could be in the middle of thousands of people), she was still acutely aware, somehow, of absolutely every tiny part of her being in this setting. Of  _ Ava Sharpe _ in this setting. Her fingers flew to the top of her head, fingering the stiff knot of fabric there, and bit her lip. Purchasing it had seemed like a good idea at the time; she had bought it in one of those wild, spontaneous moments that were so, incredibly uncharacteristic for her. Now, though, she just felt raw. Exposed. And while logically she was aware that she was being ridiculous, that she was one of the _ least  _ ostentatious people here, and that her rainbow bandana was mild, at best, she still felt anxious somehow, being here as more than a shadow.

She swallowed.  _ You’re here for Gary,  _ she reminded herself. And she was  _ trying _ , she really, really was. But anytime she saw anyone over the age of 40 with silvery blonde hair, she would get an odd, sinking sensation in her stomach, a buzzing lump of nerves that rose up into her chest to create an instantaneous sort of blind panic. Then she had to scoff at herself.

As though her mom would ever, ever show her face at any kind of Pride parade.

As though  _ any  _ member of her family would. The idea was laughable, honestly. And the thought made her chest just a little bit hollow.

She shoved away all thoughts of parents and sisters and rainbow bandanas and instead focused on Gary next to her. She had to stifle a grin. He was actually physically  _ bouncing _ on his toes, an excited little grin on his face, the rainbow flag in his pocket swaying with the movement.

“We’re  _ here _ !” he stage-whispered excitedly. “We’re actually here!”

“Gary, it’s Pride, not Disneyland,” Ava said drily.

Gary waved a hand dismissively. “Pride is basically gay Disneyland” Then, upon further thought, he added, “Although, Disneyland might be gay Disneyland, now that I think about it…”

Ava rolled her eyes. “Gary, I don’t think--” she began, but cut herself off at Gary’s sudden, wide-eyed expression. She put her hands on her hips, raising her eyebrows, and turned to look in the direction he was staring at. “Gary, what the hell--” then cut herself off for a second time as a blonde head with a cocky expression came into view. She rolled her eyes.  _ Of course. _

She looked sidelong at Gary. He was staring over at the other boy like a lovesick muppet, and Ava had to stifle a snort.

“You can go, you know,” Ava said, regretting the words the second they slipped out of her mouth. “I’ll be fine here.”

He shot her a slightly sheepish look. “Nah, I’m the one who told you to come. I won’t leave you here.”

Ava shook her head. “Really, Gary. It’s fine. You go ahead.”

His mouth twisted up in to a grin. Apparently, he didn’t need much convincing.

“Well,” he said, already bouncing his way across the street. “If you’re sure…”

The only thing Ava was sure about was that she one hundred percent did not want to be left by herself at pride. But despite her discomfort, and despite distaste for John Constantine, Ava wasn’t about to deprive Gary of the chance to possibly hang out with the boy he’d been ogling over for the last year and a half. So she forced her face into what she hoped resembled a reassuring smile, and waved him off. She locked her hands behind her back, looking around, not quite sure what to do with herself now.  _ I should have made Rip go with him, _ she thought.  _ He’d just find some people to hang out with or something. _

“Ava!”   
  
Her stomach jolted, horribly, at the sound of her name. She spun around to see Sara Lance, a girl she had spoken all of two friendly phrases to since seventh grade--once to ask for a pipette in chemistry, once to inform her that their AP US History class had moved down the hallway—standing in front of her.

It wasn’t that Ava was surprised to see Sara at Pride. Hell, the whole  _ school _ knew Sara was bisexual--the girl had come out her freshman year of high school, and had never looked back.

No, the issue was that it was  _ Sara Lance _ , talking to her as though they were friends, or at the very least close classmates who occasionally chatted in the lunch line. But they weren’t just “not friends” or even “casual acquaintances”--they genuinely, actively, did  _ not  _ get along.

Their rivalry wasn’t a rivalry, exactly. At least, not as far as Sara knew. Sara had just sort of shown up in all of Ava’s honors classes one day, the second semester of seventh grade, smiling at her and her classmates like she’d been there the entire time. Her guidance counselor had said something about her needing to be challenged more, she had said, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly, when Ava had finally gotten up the nerve to ask exactly  _ what _ she was doing in their classes.

But it was different for Ava. Ava had  _ goals _ . Ava had  _ plans. _ She was going to be the valedictorian, and go to a top tier college, and get her Masters degree and/or PhD and become some kind of Intelligence Analyst for the government. This had been her single minded goal for as long as Ava could remember, and she did what she needed to get results. She worked hard to make sure she was the smartest in classes full of smart people.She had spent her whole academic career in classes with kids who cared as much as she did, worked as hard as she did, had the same kinds of goals as she did. And suddenly Sara was...well, just sort of  _ there _ . In all of her middle school honors classes, halfway through the year, was this girl that Ava was almost positive had once been part of a group project that had gone so wrong that it flooded the elementary school gym for a week. Sara Lance, who had this uncanny ability to get things  _ done  _ in a way that somehow bypassed all the rules, but still worked out swimmingly for her. The sort of girl who could doodle in the margins for the entirety of a science lecture and still scrape by with an A- on the exam. Ava had disliked her immediately, and though she didn’t go out of her way to tell her, per se, she hadn’t exactly been subtle about it. So Sara, clearly not the sort of girl to back down from any sort of challenge, had pushed back.

They’d get into heated debates in class, riling each other up to the point that the teacher would occasionally send them to opposite sides of the room to give them time to cool off.

So the fact that Sara Lance was here, now, sporting a bisexual flag on one cheek and chatting to Ava as though they fell into casual conversation every day of their lives, was utterly baffling.

Ava blinked at her.

“Uh. Hi?” she said, not entirely sure how to react to this situation. Sara just grinned and adjusted the rucksack on her shoulder.

“Happy Pride!” she said, completely undeterred. Reaching up to touch the rainbow bandana in Ava’s hair, she added, “this suits you,” a wink, before turning to catch up to her friends.

A sudden blind panic at the idea of being left alone again overtook Ava, and before she could quite register what she was doing, the word “Sara!” flew from her lips. She immediately regretted her life choices, her stomach dropping a little. Why in the actual hell had she just done that? This was  _ Sara Lance.  _ She didn’t even  _ like  _ Sara Lance. But it was done, now, and Sara had stopped walking and was slowly turning around, one eyebrow raised, her lip quirked up in an infuriating little crooked grin.

“Ava?” she said, taking a couple steps back toward Ava. “What’s up?”

Ava licked her lips, trying to decide what to actually do now that she had Sara’s attention. Which she had  _ apparently _ wanted. “Uh,” she started, then stopped. Was about to make up some dumb excuse when she suddenly blurted, “Gary ditched me to go fawn over John Constantine.” Stopped. So much for making something up. Sara tilted her head, a little, and stared, as though waiting for Ava to continue. When Ava didn’t, Sara blinked a couple of times and said,

“...Okay?”

Ava sucked in her breath through her bottom teeth. She figured that, like so many things this day, she would regret what she was about to say. But her desire to not be alone here overwhelmed everything else, and so she shifted so she was standing up straighter, and said, “So, I’m here by myself, and that’s kind of…” she trailed off.

“Shitty?” Sara offered.

“I was going to say ‘unfortunate,’ but.” 

Sara shrugged. “So, shitty.”

Ava felt the corners of her lips twitch. “Anyway, I was going to ask, um.” She forced the rest out. “Want to go watch the drag show and pretend we don’t hate each other for a couple of hours?”

Sara laughed. “Wow, Sharpe, you really know how to woo a girl,” she said with a wink. “You got yourself a deal.” She spun back around on her heels, peering at Ava over her shoulder. “Come on,” she said. “Before Mick manages to score himself yet another underage beer.” 

Ava swallowed, the weight lifting just slightly off of her chest. When this day had started, she definitely hadn’t been expecting to end it by following Sara Lance through a crowd of rainbow-clad people and parade floats. But stranger, still, was how much she didn’t absolutely hate it, either. And she didn’t know how to feel about that revelation.

**Author's Note:**

> Come visit me on Tumblr! Talk Avalance, fangirl, say hi, beg me to finish my damn fics, I don't care. I just like to meet new people, so come say hi!  
> @iliveinfantasylife.


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